Introduction

Many people find it easy to show kindness to others but struggle to extend the same compassion to themselves. This struggle is not to understated - some of us find it really hard to do. Self-compassion is not self-pity or weakness — it’s the practice of treating yourself with the same care you would offer a loved one. In therapy, self-compassion is a key part of emotional recovery and personal growth.

What Is Self-Compassion?

Self-compassion means recognizing your pain, validating your feelings, and responding to yourself with understanding rather than judgment.

It involves three core elements:

• Self-kindness: Being gentle instead of harsh toward yourself.

• Common humanity: Remembering that everyone struggles sometimes and there's no hierarchy of pain.

• Mindfulness: Observing your emotions without overidentifying with them.

Why Self-Compassion Matters

Practicing self-compassion helps:

• Reduce anxiety, depression, and shame.

• Build resilience after failure or rejection.

• Improve emotional regulation and confidence.

• Strengthen motivation in a healthy way.

When you accept yourself as you are — flaws and all — you create space for genuine healing to begin. I believe change comes from acceptance, not self-bullying or will power.

How to Practice It Daily

• Speak to yourself as you would to a close friend.

• Pause and breathe when self-criticism appears.

• Write compassionate letters to yourself.

• Celebrate small victories, not just big wins.

Final Thought

Life isn’t about perfection — it’s about progress. When you show yourself compassion, you create the foundation for true emotional transformation.

Working with a psychotherapist or counsellor should mean you get experience of someone acknowledging and empathising with your pain, validating your feelings, and responding to you with understanding rather than judgment. Learning to do that for yourself is a crucial skill - one that's we're often not taught in our crucial early years.

I'd love to hear from you if you'd like to struggle with self-compassion and would like to improve this important relationship with yourself.